This week I had the last class of my undergraduate degree. I still have an exam coming up but I feel done already. It’s such an amazing feeling that after five years with two kids in the last three years I am a graduate. Yet the day after my last class I felt a little lost. Being a student was a large part of my identity. When people asked me what I was up to I rattled off my list, “Well I have two little girls and I’m in school. Oh and I work part-time.” Now people inevitably ask me what I’m going to do now that I have a degree. The problem is that I don’t know. I did not plan on having kids so young and was prepared to spend ten years in school pursuing a graduate degree in psychology. Now my priorities have shifted. I’m not willing to be a crazy stressed-out mama for so long. Although I may have looked like supermom on the outside, I struggled to do it all. I stayed up late every night reading and doing homework. I can’t tell you how many times I fell asleep on the couch while trying to get through a textbook. Being that tired made me a grumpy mom some mornings and I didn’t have time to go on many play-dates or do other fun things with the kids. I was doing so much and feeling like I could not give 100% to anything. My poor husband suffered the most since his needs were not as urgent as a crying baby or a looming project deadline. I already look back on it and wonder how I managed to get it all done. So while I am so glad to be done I’m not sure what I’m going to do now.
My professor said something interesting during that last class. After he finished his PH.D he almost became clinically depressed since had completed his goal and had nothing to work towards. He said the pursuit of goals makes life meaningful not the actual achievement of them. So some goals should be unattainable or just within reach. Better yet, they are goals that you continually have to work at such as being healthy. With that in mind, I need to set some new goals for my life. I want to develop skills that will help me in life and learn things that make me a better person, mom and wife.
My list (in no particular order)
· Eat healthier
· Exercise and get in shape
· Be a better wife
· Learn more about html and blogging
· Learn how to effectively discipline and raise toddlers
· Read books other than textbooks
· Read books more often to my kids
· Potty-train my toddler
· Keep a clean and tidy house (This really is a never-ending goal)
These are goals and now I need to make a plan to achieve these goals. I am writing them down so I can remember and be held accountable. Later, I'll look back at these goals and see which ones I’ve accomplished.
What are your goals for the future?