Thursday, May 21, 2009

American Idol- Bikini Girl

I spent two hours last night watching the American Idol. It was fun to see all 13 semi-finalists again. I won’t even try to comment on who should have won since I’m tone deaf and can’t really tell who is singing well. I was surprised that Kris won but after thinking about it, it makes more sense. The Danny Gokey fans would have naturally switched their votes over to him. Also, I think that Adam is a polarizing contestant. People either loved him or hated him. I suspect there were a lot of votes for Kris just so Adam wouldn’t win. Or possibly Adam did not want to win so he wouldn’t be tied down to an American Idol recording and asked friends and family not to vote.

One part I remember very well is when the Bikini girl was given an award. It’s so sad that I don’t even know her name. Sure, appearing in a biking for the audition is a good way to get noticed. But wouldn’t she rather get noticed for her voice? Save the bikini for America’s Next Top Model. Thankfully, she didn’t make it too far but was invited back to the finale. I couldn’t believe she came out in a bikini again. Is that how she wants to be remembered for the rest of her life? Why was she willing to put up with the embarrassment just to be on a show? And it looks like she has had implants. As if she didn’t have a good enough body to begin with. Doesn’t she know that the boobs will get messed up once she has kids and it could impact her ability to breastfeed? She already had a body that most women would kill for but obviously still felt inferior.

Then Kara came out to sing. A smart woman who can write and sing. When she whipped open her dress at the end to show her bikini she immediately tried to cover up her body again. Why is she so embarrassed of her body? It looked fabulous, especially considering she’s 38. I don’t know many woman who look that good in their 20’s.

Why are these two beautiful women not satisfied with their bodies? It makes me worried for my girls in the future. They are going to be bombarded with images of super-thin models and airbrushed images. How can I ensure that they have a healthy self-esteem? Sadly, I already have to do deal with this on a small scale. Princess likes to watch me put make up on. She always asks for it and sometimes I oblige. Other times I tell her that she doesn’t need it, she’s already beautiful. I’m dreading the day when she asks me why I wear make-up. How do I explain that I need make-up to feel pretty? How can I expect her to be happy with her face and body when I rely on a product to fix myself? And I know that there are going to be tougher questions coming as they grow up. Somehow I need to teach them that looks are not everything and that while looks fade, character doesn’t.

Raising girls is complicated. If you have any suggestions on promoting healthy self-esteem or books on the subject, please let me know.


  1. Oh goodness...see now that's why i can't even bring myself to watch that show ... Thanks for the recap :)

  2. In that sense, I'm glad I have boys... I know they won't get the complex that girls tend to get about their bodies. That bikini girl better have enjoyed her 15 minutes of fame, because in about 10 minutes, she'll be totally forgotten!

  3. It's tough raising girls, you are so right! I don't go anywhere without makeup on, and my girls definitely take note of that. I don't think I'd be disappointed if they chose to wear a little makeup once they got older, as long as I'm teaching them that that's not what they need to be beautiful. Beauty is on the inside, after all.

  4. I think the most important thing for a girl to have a healthy self-esteem is her relationship with her daddy. If her daddy is constantly involved with her and frequently complimenting her, she will grow up confident in herself, not her looks. I've noticed that in working with teen girls, I can compliment them like crazy on an outfit or new hairstyle, but they only really take notice when a guy (even their dad!) gives them the compliments.
    I grew up in a "no make-up until you're eighteen" house and partly because of that, I rarely wear it even now. My three-year-old sometimes asks for my "make-up" - when all she wants is my chapstick.
    they can just stay little forever, that's how I feel :)

  5. didn't you hear RYan's comment. Kara only ripped her dress open so they would donate money to a good cause. I loved the whole battle of the voices between her and bikini girl it was the best laugh of the night.
    I thnk whats sad is that Bikini girl felt she needed to buy a set of assets instead of know she had them already. Oh well. thanks for the read

  6. My little girl is a little over weight but I think she is beautiful and I always tell her she is. I mother-in-law made the comment in front of her one day that she was fat and I laid into her -- If you can't respect my daughter you can leave. Since she is homeschooled her self esteem is so high and now if someone tells her something it doesn't even bother her -- she just says she is beautiful and they are jealous.I'm so proud of her.

    As long as you always tell them they are beautiful and never say anything around them bad about your body are anyone else's you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

  7. Loukia- Yeah, appearing on the idol finale is probably and hopefully the last time we'll see her. Unless she goes on a reality show

    Liz- I won't mind my girls wearing make-up either it's just a fine line between wanting it and thinking they need it.

    Jeannette- I'm glad my girls have a good daddy then. Will you enforce the no make-up until she is 18 too? I see the point but dont want to force my child to be different from the other kids over a small thing

    Night Owl Mama- I know Kara did it for charity and that's great. I didn't have a problem with her exposing her body I was just surprised how embarrassed she seemed to be of her body

    Anissa- Sounds like a good plan

  8. Great great post. Ya know, I have been heavy my whole life. Healthy, but heavy. I never ever had bad self esteem. Infact, my self esteem has always been very high. Maybe too high. LOL.

    I was never made fun of in school, I was always popular and in the popular group of kids, I always had boyfriends and boys that liked me, etc. I know now, in retrospect, that this is 100% due to how my parents raised us kids (my siblings and I).

    I grew up in a big happy family. We were never raised to be ashamed of our bodies or of being who were are. We were never raised to be freaked out about being naked or anything. Infact, I don't remember bathroom doors closed very often. LOL. Especially if my Mom was taking a bath. One of us was always in there for something or other.

    I was always told how beautiful I was by family. We always took pictures, did videos, and dressed up. I was in every school play, I sang in talent shows, I was in musical programs like the Orchestra, I was in pageants (the all natural kind at town fairs), etc. So, I was just raised to be very confident, proud, and to know I was lovely in every way. It absolutely never occurred to me while growing up that just because I wasn't as thin as my girlfriends that it mattered in any way.

    So, I am not a Mom, but I was raised by amazing parents. So, I am a daughter who has amaazing self esteem and I know it is a direct result of my upbrining. :o)


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