Day 1 of being Super Mom and Super Wife

To get a full sense of the irony of this post you should start my reading my previous post first.

After writing down some life goals last night, I was inspired and made sure I thoroughly cleaned the kitchen and living room before going to bed. I started off today with big plans. I would bring my husband lunch, take the girls to the park and make a fabulous dinner. All while keeping a clean house of course. I managed to do some of those things but not the way I wanted to.

As part of my goal to be a better wife, I decided to make a great lunch for my husband at work. I wanted to make a nutritious and delicious lunch for us but realizing that I didn’t have time to make anything fancy I settled for peanut butter sandwiches on multi-grain bread. We were a little late and he didn’t even like his sandwich since there wasn’t enough peanut butter. That’s the last time I ever bother to bring him lunch! But it was still nice to see him during the work day and let the girls see where daddy works.

After that, we drove to a nearby park and met a friend with a daughter the same age as Sweet Pea. We had a fun time and the weather was beautiful. I took some pictures but the camera memory was too full to take very many. I have this fear that if I delete the pictures off my camera my laptop will suddenly die and I’ll lose all my pictures. Before I can safely delete any pictures off my camera I have to upload them to my laptop, upload them to a photo-sharing site online and burn them to a CD. Anyways, although I was feeling like a good mom for getting my kids outside and active I neglected to bring any snacks along. So by the time we left, Princess was complaining about her tummy hurting. We rushed home and got her some yoghurt while I breastfed an exhausted Sweet Pea to sleep. Princess refused to go to sleep but luckily my dad called and came to take her out. I should have cleaned up the mess that had already accumulated but was exhausted from all the playing at the park so I went down for a nap. By the time I woke up, it was time to make dinner. That’s where it all started going downhill.

Princess came home tired from her long day and Sweet Pea was still tired when she woke up. I was in the kitchen trying to make a fabulous dinner when my two normally sweet girls decided to fight over every single toy. I was determined to make something delicious since I’ve already had two dinner mishaps in the last two days. I decided to make Twice-Baked Potatoes and Chicken Skewers with a side of beans. The potatoes took a lot of time and work and I kept having to break up fights between the girls. My husband called twice and we could barely talk over the screaming that was going on. I finally took a break from making dinner to feed Sweet Pea in hopes of getting her to take a nap. Then I searched desperately for a soother for my crying baby. Then I began to cry because the house was so messy that I couldn't even find a soother to put my baby to bed with. I finally found it and put Sweet Pea in her crib. Princess was a little concerned about her bawling mommy and began to cry herself. I then cried even more that I upset my daughter.

My husband came home to Sweet Pea protesting her nap, and Princess and I sitting on the couch in tears. He hadn’t had the best day either and I felt horrible that he came home to a messy house, grumpy children and a stressed-out wife. Realizing that Sweet Pea was not going to nap I got her up and handed her to my husband. With another adult around I was finally able to finish up dinner. I realized that I had forgotten the vegetables but didn’t even care anymore.

Although the twice-baked potatoes turned into a twice-baked casserole it was pretty good. My husband even said he liked the potato chunks that didn’t get completely mashed up. I didn’t quite believe him but didn’t care enough to argue. We had a peaceful dinner for a few minutes before Princess’s exhaustion became evident. My husband quickly whisked her away to bed where she fell asleep immediately. I managed to put away the leftovers before plopping myself on the couch. Sweet Pea resisted going to bed several times and I was forced to call my husband in to put her to bed.

Now I’m sitting here ignoring the chaos around me and rethinking my super mom goal. Taking them out to the park resulted in tired girls (myself included) and instead of being a super wife my husband turned out to be super dad. I managed to do all the things on my list (minus the clean house) but became stressed out as a result. Can I be an active mom who makes delicious meals while keeping a presentable house? Is it really possible to do it all? I’ll keep trying and keep you updated.

Any tips from other supermoms?

Life After School

This week I had the last class of my undergraduate degree. I still have an exam coming up but I feel done already. It’s such an amazing feeling that after five years with two kids in the last three years I am a graduate. Yet the day after my last class I felt a little lost. Being a student was a large part of my identity. When people asked me what I was up to I rattled off my list, “Well I have two little girls and I’m in school. Oh and I work part-time.” Now people inevitably ask me what I’m going to do now that I have a degree. The problem is that I don’t know. I did not plan on having kids so young and was prepared to spend ten years in school pursuing a graduate degree in psychology. Now my priorities have shifted. I’m not willing to be a crazy stressed-out mama for so long. Although I may have looked like supermom on the outside, I struggled to do it all. I stayed up late every night reading and doing homework. I can’t tell you how many times I fell asleep on the couch while trying to get through a textbook. Being that tired made me a grumpy mom some mornings and I didn’t have time to go on many play-dates or do other fun things with the kids. I was doing so much and feeling like I could not give 100% to anything. My poor husband suffered the most since his needs were not as urgent as a crying baby or a looming project deadline. I already look back on it and wonder how I managed to get it all done. So while I am so glad to be done I’m not sure what I’m going to do now.

My professor said something interesting during that last class. After he finished his PH.D he almost became clinically depressed since had completed his goal and had nothing to work towards. He said the pursuit of goals makes life meaningful not the actual achievement of them. So some goals should be unattainable or just within reach. Better yet, they are goals that you continually have to work at such as being healthy. With that in mind, I need to set some new goals for my life. I want to develop skills that will help me in life and learn things that make me a better person, mom and wife.

My list (in no particular order)
· Eat healthier
· Exercise and get in shape
· Be a better wife
· Learn more about html and blogging
· Learn how to effectively discipline and raise toddlers
· Read books other than textbooks
· Read books more often to my kids
· Potty-train my toddler
· Keep a clean and tidy house (This really is a never-ending goal)

These are goals and now I need to make a plan to achieve these goals. I am writing them down so I can remember and be held accountable. Later, I'll look back at these goals and see which ones I’ve accomplished.

What are your goals for the future?